It's Freakin Cold Outside!!!

Last night, I didn't decide to venture home until almost 2AM. While the distance I needed to cover wasn't that great, I was running low on fuel. It was either the fear of running out, or the thought about my fuel lines freezing that made me decide to stop for gas. When I had left that morning, it was in the 40s. Not warm by any means, but not very cold either. I decided to just wear my "favorite" windbreaker. Basically a cotton jacket that offers little protection. When I left, this was more than adequate coverage. When I was on the road, it was 12 degrees outside, and with the winds gusting as high as they were, it was definately well below zero when you take in the wind chill factor. Needless to say, I was out pumping gas wearing the bare minimum... and freezing my ass off!! Times like this, I miss the mild winters of New Orleans...

The High Point of My Day

Anyone that knows me well is pretty aware of my love of the cold. I'll go outside in 40 degree weather wearing a windbreaker while everyone else is bundled up in heavy coats. While the cold in St. Louis is different than the cold of New Orleans, it's never really bothered me. As long as it's not bone chilling, I'm a happy camper. I'd much rather be cold than be even the least bit hot. Strangely though, I've realized that my greatest weekness is for one of the hottest and steamiest points of my day... hot showers. No, not lukewarm, or even hot. I basically turn up the heat all the way, and just bask in the glory of the steaming hot water. Almost as soon as I step into the shower, I'm put into a complete and total trance. Maybe it's because I keep the house so cold, and it's just so "different" of a sensation.... it's just one of the best points of my day.

2008 Presidential Election

Anyone who knows me also knows that I'm not very political. Sure, I get out and vote, but most of the time, I'm usually just voting for the candidate I don't like the least. No one has ever really been the person I really saw running for the office, or even wanted in that office. With the 2008 Presidential Elections heating up, there's already talk about who we're pulling for, or who we want in office. Most people that I know are looking to Hillary as their savior. Once again, I look to Hillary as being nothing I want out of a President. No, it's not because she's a female, but rather, I've never truly cared for her as a person. Sure, Obama is going to give her a run for her money, but I really don't think he's got the experience level needed for the office of President. Sure, if I do my run in 2012, I will effectively have ZERO political experience at the time, but that's not the reason I'd be running. Sure, I don't expect to win, but I just want to get the issues out there.

So, who should run? I just finished reading a very excellent article from Rolling Stone about a potential candidate that can "stir the pot" for the democrats in 2008. Al Gore. I'll be the first to admit. I didn't care for him the first time around. I always saw him as being stiff, wooden, and hundreds of other adjectives to describe his lack of .... coolness. I just saw him as being the anti-Clinton, who was always seen as being smooth, and a great communicator. Al Gore just never inspired in me the desire to want to elect him. After 9/11, I was thankful that we didn't have him in office, feeling that he was too much a pacifist to be able to deal with the changing world.

Times have changed. I have changed... and so has Al Gore. The adjectives that I once used to describe him have long been forgotten. Al Gore is now a star. I think the major turning point for me was the Saturday Night Live opening that he did. Sure, it was in jest, and mostly funny... but him poking fun of himself... letting loose.. not taking himself so seriously. That's the guy I wish I had for my president. It also got me to think what the past 7 years would have been like. Would we be in a this seemingly unwinnable war? Would we have our civil liberties stolen right from underneath our feet? Would the world just be a much happier place overall?

Right now, more than ever, I wish Al Gore would throw his hat into the ring. He is by far the first candidate in a LONG time that I actually WANT to see in office! Check out the Rolling Stone article for more info, and decide for yourself...

Game Shop Girl

Tonight, a friend and I were wandering through the mall. He had to make a pitstop, so I kept strolling ahead till I reached the mall's video game shop. Peering through the opening, I saw her.... the vision of perfection that I had sought from the day that I had gotten seperated... my geek goddess.

Just a bit of history for those new to my life, I've been on a multi-year quest to find my "geek goddess". Someone into movies, video-games, rpgs, pretty much all of the geek standards. I've come close to finding perfection... and at least once, I discovered everything I was looking for, though she was just out of reach. Maybe this time would be different.

I sat there for a moment, peering inside. Trying to figure out if I was dreaming or not. My friend rejoined me, and we proceeded inside. The closer I got, the more I realized that she was everything I'd hoped for... only several feet away. Eventually, she crossed my path, and gave me a cute smile, as she continued about her work. Maybe this is it. Maybe it's finally going to happen. We continue browsing, and my friend decides to strike up a conversation. Soon enough, we were all talking. She was a gamer for sure... ranting and raving about the Wii, and Zelda Twilight Princess. Discussing levels as if she had lived inside the game all her life... she was amazing. Then it happened... "My boyfriend already beat the game just after 2 weeks..."
Ugh... that was it. The infamous "insert boyfriend here" to prove that she wasn't interested. Just seems like something that always happens... just when conversation is getting good, and there truly seems to be some interest between all parties, the mention of a boyfriend and/or husband comes up just to let you know that they either aren't interested, or are already taken. We make our purchase, and like an injured dog, I slowly creep out of the store.

I had truly thought that the geek goddess was a figment of my imagination. Nothing so wonderful and perfect could exist in nature. It's just not possible. Once could be accounted to a fluke, but twice now, I've found everything I've ever wanted in a girlfriend, only to face the fact that it's not in my cards. Sigh. Part of me feels that this could be possible. Finding what I'm looking for once is dumb luck... twice means it might just actually exist in the wild. Perhaps I'll renew my search for the geek goddess. Move away from the game that I've been playing with myself, and concentrate on what I want most. She's out there, somewhere. I just have to find her... and find a way to win her heart.

Lets Play Bumper Cars!!

Wow. I just checked out this video, and I just can't believe how slick some streets can get. This was in Portland, OR. Cars are just sliding back and forth across the street! Madness I tell you! Madness! Check it out, and DON'T DRIVE IN THE ICE!

Icy Street Proves to be trouble

Shit hitting the fan...

Well, today, the shit officially hit the fan. I've had a project that I've had little or no time to dedicate to working on, that was due for beta next week, and not only is it barely to the alpha stage, after reading the SOW, it's completely in the wrong direction from where it was supposed to be. I now worry about keeping my job for even the next week. We're going to have a meeting in the next few minutes to discuss the project, but I can't see any outcome from this being good, and I'm going to get knocked on my ass any way we look at it. I've failed. I've failed my company... my team... and most importantly, I've failed myself. I wanted to save face, and not admit there was something I couldn't do, and that I needed help... but instead, I just made myself look like the biggest fool of all.

Wish me luck... hopefully I won't be job hunting in the next few days...

Thoughts

I wasn't planning to write tonight, but my mind has a million thoughts, and I just need to get some stuff out. First off, over the weekend, I realized one of my ex's had gotten married a few years ago. I had kinda kept this thought in my head that maybe someday I'd run into her, and try to rekindle what we had, but now that looks to be unlikely. Another one bites the dust. :P Not that any of my friends would have allowed that relationship to happen. She's the one person they hate more than my ex wife. I still just wonder what could have happened if we had worked out years ago. I dunno. I've just got this crazy idea that the person I'm destined to be with has already been in my life at some point. I think that's the reason I've been looking to the past so much... trying to bring back friendships and make contacts that I haven't seen in years. Sadly, most of the women I've been regaining contact with have all be taken and already married. There's one person whom I've got a secret crush on (as I did in High School), but she's a completely different person than me, and lives back in New Orleans. It probably wouldn't work. There's still quite a few people that I'd like to get to talk to again.. most of which I haven't been able to gain even the first bit of an idea of how to contact again.

This week in work is going to be the MOST stressful that I think I've ever experienced. My project is way behind, and for the first time in my career, I'm going to have to tell a customer that there's going to be a slight delay. Sadly, that delay looks to be a few months, while we regroup and get a better hold on the team situation. The GOOD thing is that if I survive the next week, the rest will be perfect. We're all in agreement that my team needs a central leader, and I will fill the position I should have been doing for ages. Hopefully, it'll get my development blood running again, and I'll kick this burnout that I've been going through. The good thing is I'll be able to concentrate on design and technically writing, as well as dealing with the customers... which I enjoy. Yesterday, when I was at the grocery, I mentioned to the cashier that I remembered when I used to work in the grocery, and the customers used to come in droves whenever the weather seemed to be at its worst. I'd see them coming into the store when it's pitch black outside, as if the fires of hell were about to be unleashed upon the surface of the earth. Then when they got to the register to pay, it would be raining cats and dogs, and they'd be like "Oh my god, I can't believe it's raining!" Strangly, half the city would usually decide to venture to the store during this time, and it was usually our busiest times. Anyway, she asked me what I was doing now, and I mentioned being in software development... but mentioned that I missed working with the public, and for a few brief moments, truly missed working at the grocery. But then realized I wouldn't have any money, and quickly felt better about my job.

Anyway, it's after 10. I need to crash. I'll try to write more tomorrow.

Trailer: Home Movies

I've been working at this all morning... finally got the codecs good enough to finalize the project. Enjoy!

The NEW Blog

Well, I spent most of the night restoring my "Blogger" to its full glory. Not many know this, but there's actually a few blogs that I maintain here. I've got this one, my "New" public face. I've also got "Phat 2 Phit" which is going to start getting a full "workout" tomorrow. HAHA. Sorry. Bad pun. I've also got my original "Journal" which has never and will never be made public. Its where I store all of my state secrets. It's also my original blog, dating back all the way to my first post in 2001!! Yeah, a LONG time ago! So much has changed since then. My final blog is a journal also, but rather than writing about recent events, it's more of a place for me to write down my old stories. Things that happened years ago, and I just want to keep for posterity.

But, it's all here. Back for good this time! :)

Movie Review: Idiocracy

I just had the opportunity to view one of the most poignant films of our time, Mike Judge's "Idiocracy". While I'll be one of the first to admit that I do tend to bask in the most idiotic of entertainment outlets from time to time, I can see the events of this story actually occurring sometime in our future.

The story is about a guy named Joe who is put into stasis for a one year experiment, but by a series of unfortunate events, ends up in suspended animation for 500 years. During that time, the human gene pool became more and more mucky with each generation, leading all of the people in the world to be complete idiots. Joe awakens only to find out that he is the smartest man in the world!

This movie isn't my all time favorite by any means, but it definitely opened my eyes, and watching how culture is slowly denigrating into pure stupidity, I can see that we're just a few generations short of this film!

Definitely check it out once it's released on DVD!

2007 - Welcome to a New Year

Well, it's 2007. The last year was a series of roller coasters that led me into directions that I never saw coming in a million years. By the end of the year though, the world that surrounds me settled down, and things began to feel a lot more like normal. I'm still debating whether that's a good or bad thing.

Last year, at this time, I had lots of goals... lose weight... find the love of my life... and to get started with moving on with my future. Sadly, none of that has happened, and I'm finding myself in almost the exact point that I was this time last year. The only different being that I'm now living on my own.

At least this marks the end of the holidays... the end of "My December", as I've been putting it. Those are the times when everyone is always together, and being alone in the world feels 10X worse than it does for the rest of the year. Maybe next year, I'll feel better about it. We'll just have to wait and see what 2007 brings.