Thoughts

I wasn't planning to write tonight, but my mind has a million thoughts, and I just need to get some stuff out. First off, over the weekend, I realized one of my ex's had gotten married a few years ago. I had kinda kept this thought in my head that maybe someday I'd run into her, and try to rekindle what we had, but now that looks to be unlikely. Another one bites the dust. :P Not that any of my friends would have allowed that relationship to happen. She's the one person they hate more than my ex wife. I still just wonder what could have happened if we had worked out years ago. I dunno. I've just got this crazy idea that the person I'm destined to be with has already been in my life at some point. I think that's the reason I've been looking to the past so much... trying to bring back friendships and make contacts that I haven't seen in years. Sadly, most of the women I've been regaining contact with have all be taken and already married. There's one person whom I've got a secret crush on (as I did in High School), but she's a completely different person than me, and lives back in New Orleans. It probably wouldn't work. There's still quite a few people that I'd like to get to talk to again.. most of which I haven't been able to gain even the first bit of an idea of how to contact again.

This week in work is going to be the MOST stressful that I think I've ever experienced. My project is way behind, and for the first time in my career, I'm going to have to tell a customer that there's going to be a slight delay. Sadly, that delay looks to be a few months, while we regroup and get a better hold on the team situation. The GOOD thing is that if I survive the next week, the rest will be perfect. We're all in agreement that my team needs a central leader, and I will fill the position I should have been doing for ages. Hopefully, it'll get my development blood running again, and I'll kick this burnout that I've been going through. The good thing is I'll be able to concentrate on design and technically writing, as well as dealing with the customers... which I enjoy. Yesterday, when I was at the grocery, I mentioned to the cashier that I remembered when I used to work in the grocery, and the customers used to come in droves whenever the weather seemed to be at its worst. I'd see them coming into the store when it's pitch black outside, as if the fires of hell were about to be unleashed upon the surface of the earth. Then when they got to the register to pay, it would be raining cats and dogs, and they'd be like "Oh my god, I can't believe it's raining!" Strangly, half the city would usually decide to venture to the store during this time, and it was usually our busiest times. Anyway, she asked me what I was doing now, and I mentioned being in software development... but mentioned that I missed working with the public, and for a few brief moments, truly missed working at the grocery. But then realized I wouldn't have any money, and quickly felt better about my job.

Anyway, it's after 10. I need to crash. I'll try to write more tomorrow.